Wednesday, April 20, 2011

I am 99% sure...

I'm out. I stopped progesterone Monday, but I am still on this cycle. If I don't get to Cycle day 1 again by tomorrow I will call my doctor cause I was supposed to be on Cycle day 1 Monday. I'm doing 1 more round of treatment with 50 mg of clomid this time and then I'm taking a break. I bought a puppy (it was supposed to be a 3 year old dog) and I have my hands full with him. We went to the pound and found this adorable chihuahua/ pomeranian mix. They told us he was 3 and potty trained. Well when I took him to the vet yesterday I found out he is not even a year old and he is very much NOT potty trained. He also developed a nice case of kennel cough last night so this is how my night went:
11:00 pm- went to bed
12:00 am- up with playful puppy
1:30- playful puppy strikes again
2:45- My two "children" get into a fight and puppy is scared
3:45- Puppy is now sick with kennel cough and has to go potty
4:10- Puppy is awake due to kennel cough
5:00- Puppy starts coughing again and is scared
6:30- Puppy is still sick and I am up anyway so I start my day.
Thats right folks, I don't even have a baby yet and I'm up all night. But the puppy (Bruiser) is a very nice distraction from infertility. I kinda feel like I want to just raise my dogs for awhile and enjoy life without kids cause I've been stressed out for so long about not being able to get pregnant that I haven't been able to really stop and think about the good parts of not having kids. So I'm taking a break after this next IUI and I'm going to regroup my scattered thoughts before I charge ahead. IUI's are pretty pointless for me anyway. I don't want to waste the money when I know I need surgery and IVF.


Oh and I have very EXCITING news!!! I got a letter from insurance today and (drumroll please) The hospital OWES ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Insurance covered EVERYTHING! We paid for a doctors visit already and the letter said that they sent out a payment for the same visit. So I no longer have to be afraid of the evil mailbox that always gives me bills cause I'm not gonna be getting any!!!!!!!!!!!!

Saturday, April 16, 2011

Lost a furbaby and other updates

Well first of all I haven't been on to update much because I haven't had a lot of updates. I'm in the two week wait again and now that I'm on progesterone I can't tell what my body is doing. I've been having mood swings, I'm tired all the time, and I can't stop eating. It's great that I get an increased appetite right before swimsuit season. But all those things can be due to all the meds that I'm on. The only thing that is making me slightly excited is that my bbt (basal body temp) rose 3 days ago to become a triphasic chart. A study was done and 20% of pregnant women gets triphasic charts, and only 5% of non pregnant women get them. The other 75% don't see them at all. A chart become triphasic when there is a 3rd temp spike 6-10 days after ovulation and is usually due to the pregnancy hormone raising the temperature. Now don't get all excited and think that this is it for me. Progesterone causes temps to rise and since I'm on progesterone supps my amazing temps could be due to the extra progesterone that I'm on. I was slightly confused this morning when my temp rose slightly instead of fell since I'm 13 days past ovulation but I'm fully expecting it to fall tomorrow. I will get on here and let you all know what tomorrow's temperature brings.

Now about my furbaby Buddy. He is the cat you see in my blog. He was a mommy's boy and I loved him so much, but we had to get rid of him today. He peed in my closet for the last time. lol. Actually Jared hated Buddy and has been wanting to get rid of him awhile ago but I wouldn't let him. I finally realized that cleaning that litter box was probably not the best idea when we were trying to get pregnant and especially not good once we did get pregnant. I found a wonderful couple on craigslist who was looking for a long hair siamese and they fell in love with him the moment they saw him. I'm sad, but I think Cupid is happier now without buddy attacking her all the time. She actually is out with the family now instead of hiding under the bed. :) I hope he will be happy in his new home. I will miss laughing at his clumsiness though.

More updates to come soon because I have to test monday so I know if I have to continue the progesterone or stop it to allow af (aunt flo) to come and start a new month of treatment.

Saturday, April 9, 2011

I am outraged!!!

Peta launched a new "contest" which is in "honor" of national infertility awareness week. Apparently if you get your dog or cat neutered in the month of April you are entered to win a free vasectomy. They actually said it was in honor of national infertility week which is the week of April 29. How cruel to mock the infertile community!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! You would NEVER EVER mock people that had breast cancer. You would never run a national campaign to mock SIDS. Why would you mock infertile women. And to be quite honest why would you DARE to mock a group of millions of hormonal women that are all on drugs that make them even MORE hormonal. Who in there right mind would mess with us?!?!?!?!?!? That's like signing your own death warrent right there. I mean, I have only been on crazy hormone drugs for less than a month and I already feel like I can't control my emotions anymore.
So to add insult to injury, people are commenting on this campaign saying that it is pathetic to have a national infertility awareness week because there are 7 billion people already in the world so there is no reason for the infertile community to be upset that they can't add a few more. They are saying that we should just adopt. But why is it the infertiles responsibility to adopt the children that need homes? Fertile people are just as capable. I'm not against adoption at all, I would like to adopt someday. But is it SOOOOOOO wrong that I want to know what it feels like to have a baby move in me and have a little human that has my eyes and Jared's smile?!?! I DON'T THINK SO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I would like to know what IDIOT came to the Peta meeting that morning and said " I think the world is overpopulated, lets target the people that are contributing the LEAST to the overpopulation". GOOD GRIEF!
Alright now that I've calmed down I can give an update on myself. I have been taking progesterone for a couple days now and I have the side effect of major mood swings (gasp). So I've been trying to keep a low profile since I basically will get angry at the drop of a hat.Please see previous paragraphs for examples. lol. My temperatures are looking amazing, not that it matters right now because I'm technically way to early to be pregnant anyway. I did a stupid thing today and I looked at my due date if I were to get pregnant this month,
December 25! My stomach went into my throat when I saw that. That would be the best Christmas ever. Please God, all I want for Christmas this year is a baby. Although if we don't conceive this month I would be okay too. Christmas time would be extremely difficult if we were to have a baby because Jared's birthday is the 18th, our anniversary is the 22nd, and then there is Christmas, so to add a baby's birthday to the mix would be pretty stressful. (this is my way of trying to convince myself I won't be upset if we don't get pregnant this month) I MIGHT take a summer break from fertility treatments. I will be getting an IUI next month if this month doesn't work, but after that I don't know. During the summer I'm not as depressed about being infertile because I can lay out at the pool for hours and just forget about life for awhile. I want to be able to save up for an injection cycle which is $1500 and summer seems like the best time to do it.

Wednesday, April 6, 2011

Crosshairs. YAY YAY YAY

                                                               
So for those of you that don't know what crosshairs are, I chart my basal temperature every morning before I get up. I take my temp at  6:00 am and then add that temperature to an online chart I have. That chart then analyzes when I ovulate based on my temperatures. When ovulation occurs, a womans resting temperature shoots up and stays up until she is about to get her period. Crosshairs just show the day of ovulation.  That was your physiology lesson for the day. So let me back up. Sunday I got my iui, and afterwards I was in a huge funk because I ended up getting another positive ovulation test after I got back from the iui, which could have meant that I wasn't going to ovulate until the next day. Normal sperm can live for up to 4 days, but washed sperm like the kind they use in iui's only live for 24 hours. Some can live a little longer, but they aren't really all that good after 24 hours. I was convinced I timed the iui completely wrong and I just wasted $300. Well I just took my latest temp this morning and plugged it into fertility friend and I got crosshairs!!! Not just any crosshairs though, I got crosshairs on the day I got my iui!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I timed it right! Yay! I believe I ovulated later Sunday night which isn't PERFECT timing since they would like to do an iui 6 hours before or after ovulation, but it is as perfect as we could get since they only do the iui's in the mornings. I have been in pain for the last few days though. My left ovary hurts so bad. I guess I ovulated on the left side and since I'm in so much pain that either means I had a super strong ovulation or I ovulated more then one egg. Don't freak out family, that doesn't necessarily mean twins, that just means that I have a much better chance at actually conceiving this month. I feel confident though that I did everything possible this month to make a baby. If it doesn't happen this month, I will keep doing what I'm doing. Even with perfect timing my chances of conceiving are only about 10% every month, which is half of what chance a fertile person has every month. I just want SOMETHING to work this time. Even if I don't get my take home baby, I would love to at least know that my ovaries are good for something.

Saturday, April 2, 2011

Round 2 here we go

                                                               
Quick update. I started taking ovulation tests yesterday and I got an almost positive this morning. The problem is that my test was "almost" positive which means I should consider it negative, but then this afternoon the second line was barely there. I called my doctor and told her the situation and she said to schedule IUI #2 for tomorrow. So we will go in for round 2 at 8:45 tomorrow morning. I am pretty nervous cause I feel like I'm in the dark as to if I'm timing this right, but we will see. I am on cycle day 11 and that is extremely early to be getting a positive, but I was on clomid and that will make ovulation sooner. I am feeling some cramping tonight so that's a good sign. Here's hoping that I will catch the egg. Clomid makes you ovulate sooner as well as ovulate more eggs so you would think that by placing 70 million sperm into the laps of a few eggs I would easily be able to get pregnant with at least ONE baby. Sperm meet egg, egg meet sperm. Good grief it shouldn't be THAT difficult.