So many thoughts

I can't write everything down cause my thoughts are so jumbled right now. First of all I'm discouraged about the iui. I mean if it hasn't happened naturally after 2+ years, what makes me think it will happen now? I told Jared that next time he needs to make sure his sperm brings my egg flowers cause obviously my eggs have very high standards. I'm in a give up kinda mood right now. I do feel better, however, knowing that my RE is gonna take care of me and she will do everything she can to make this happen, even if it means we will be eating beans and water for the rest of our lives. lol
One good thing about infertility (I guess once you fail long enough at something, you can start to see the good in situations) is that I KNOW I'm going to be an incredible mom! If I hadn't gone through infertility, I wouldn't have a clue how to raise a child. This journey has opened my eyes to others parenting styles and techniques. I watch people and I take notes on what I will and won't do with my kids. I know that they will act up, but I can just think back to the long road it took to get them here, and I will be so much more forgiving. I'm going to write a letter to future Megan just to remind her of the struggles she went through. I don't want to dwell on the hard times, but when I have a hard time with my children, I want to be able to be reminded of how much I went through to get them here. Nothing is worse then infertility.